I photograph people—weddings, work, maternity, families - capturing big moments at various stages of their lives. And as a photographer, I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had people say, "I hate having my photo taken; I always look bad in photos."
My job when you book a photoshoot with me is to empower you, make you feel confident and comfortable. But we’re all up against so much pressure - especially with social media and unrealistic beauty standards these days.
I recently watched Teri Hofford's TEDx talk, "5 Reasons You Look Bad in Photos." - and boy oh boy, did it resonate with me. It resonated so deeply because it aligns with what I've been discussing with clients for years. It’s all about mindset, expectations, and self love.
I'd highly recommend checking out her talk, but here on the blog, let's explore why you might not love your photos - and how to shift your mindset to appreciate your true beauty.
The influence of beauty standards is crazy
So much of what we see online and in the media is just - not real. Sure, there are photos of celebs out and about - but the amount of photoshopping, facetuning and editing that goes into much of what we see is massive, and it’s setting unrealistic societal beauty standards. And not only are they unrealistic - they’re so narrowly defined, giving one idea of “perfect” and leaving so many feeling inadequate - and then zooming on to the next unrealistic beauty standard.
One of the big reasons people often dislike their photos is the influence of these beauty standards. They think they should have pore-free, ridiculously smoothed skin, and flawless makeup - but real people aren’t like that. People have all sorts of different faces and features. We should be embracing those unique qualities - not all trying to conform to the famous facetune beauty standards.
Unrealistic expectations
And on that note - let me take a minute to talk about photo editing.
In an era dominated by edited images and filters - it’s almost too easy to see how we “should look” (reminder - that’s not how you should look, but many people set the filtered version of themselves as a standard to reach). These virtual filters are setting unrealistic expectations of how we look. It’s also scarily easy these days to edit your own photos - and so - if someone is used to seeing themselves highly edited and filtered - they might feel confused or disappointed seeing a less edited version of themselves.
I always encourage my clients to look at their photos and focus on their expressions, their joy, their love - because these are the authentic moments, the real feelings. I do editing and minor retouching of photos (like getting rid of flyaway hairs or hiding that pimple that just popped up on the day of your shoot) - but I don’t go over the top and make you unrecognisable. Skin should have texture, people do have smile lines - it’s all part of what makes you look so unique.
Remember - you’re used to seeing yourself in the mirror.
If photos of yourself feel a little unfamiliar - I like to remind my clients that they’re so used to seeing their reflection in the mirror - and therefore, seeing their mirror image, rather than themselves the way the world sees them! So when you’re looking at photos of yourself, take a second, and remember that although things might seem a little different than you’re used to - it’s because you’re comparing yourself to your own reflection.
I like to say that you should look at yourself with the ‘love eye’ - like the way you look at your kids, or your partner, or your best mates. Be gentle, be kind, and see the beauty the world sees in you.
A reminder - be nice to yourself.
I want to take a sec here to remind you to be kind to yourself! We tend to be our harshest critics. How often do you look in the mirror and fixate on your so-called “flaws” - rather than on your own beauty?
Put simply - be nicer to yourself! Embrace a kinder perspective. Practice self-compassion. View photos of yourself with a more loving lens. To quote Teri Hofford - “we often see ourselves through a lens of criticism, not realising the beauty that others see.”
I’ll quite often snap a photo at a wedding that captures a beautiful, raw, emotional moment - and while they might not be “picture perfect” moments, they document the joy, love, and connection shared between couples and their loved ones. They’re the kinds of moments that you’ll look back on in the future, and relive the feelings, relive the love.
Make your photoshoot your own
I love to empower my clients to celebrate the things that make them unique - and bring that energy to their photoshoot!
Don’t feel like your photos have to conform to the stuff you’re seeing on social media. I’ve had couples who dress up in costumes on their wedding day for some fun photos and to have a laugh. I’ve had people bring in fun props for their branding shoots, to make their business stand out and showcase their unique personality. I’ve had people embrace epic hairstyles or new hair colours for their portrait shoots, to make them pop.
Which leads me to this - a few handy tips from me on how to prep for your photoshoot, and come into it feeling good and ready to go!
Relax and be yourself! The more relaxed you are, the more natural your photos will look. Trust your photographer and enjoy the moment. Laugh at my dorky jokes (please). Let go of expectations and smile - having your photo taken can be an incredibly empowering experience.
Wear clothes that make you feed good! Don’t stress about matching the latest trends. Wear clothes that you’re comfortable and confident in, and that speak to your unique personality.
Focus on the experience. Take the pressure off of yourself to look “perfect” and embrace the moment!
Communicate with your photographer throughout your shoot. Whether it’s a portrait session or a wedding day - tell your photographer how you’re feeling, and ask for guidance if you need it. That’s what they’re there for!
Practice self-love. Be kind to yourself going into your shoot, and appreciate how awesome you are for stepping out of your comfort zone. And remember that your worth is not defined by how you look in photos.
If the above resonated with you - I’d love to hear your thoughts. And if you have a photoshoot with me booked in, know that I’m always happy to chat through tips for feeling more confident during your photoshoot, and I’m always here to hype you up!
You can watch Teri Hofford’s full TED talk here
For this blog I thought I would walk the talk and include some if the photos I have had taken of me for work over the years, some I love and others not so much but they are just moments in time that capture what I looked like in the 100thof a second
